i'm the worst at blogging.

things happen every day, and i think, i should blog about this, or at least write it down, maybe work it into a bit one day, but i don't. i need to mix my life up. part of me wants to start going to every comedy show, and or concert, living off nothing but smokes, drugs and booze, preferably purchased by others and not myself, but another, big part of me wants nothing to do with that lifestyle or those scenes. it's like i've gotten to this point where i think if i don't win the lottery i'm never going to live my dreams. i want to be editing video. telling stories. playing. i want to not be in constant pain. i want a sweet desk chair. i want to be able to get the rest of my teeth holes fixed. i want to see a chiropractor at least three times a week. i want a massage. i want to be able to watch season 1 thru 7 of buffy in one day if i so desire, and not feel like i'm wasting my life because of it. i want to travel. i want to be able to go out on weekends, and not have to worry about getting out of control, because i want to get out of control, all the time. i want to be able to buy stupid knic knacs and not worry about rent. i want all these things and more, so i need to start writing again, and more. i worked on my resume the other day, i need to polish my bio then start looking for a 'career'. but what i really want to do is write for tv shows that are no longer on the air.